Last one there is a penis pump!

From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:15 AM
To: Bossman
Subject: PSA's
http://www.fenslerfilm.com/PSAS.htm

click on 005. so funny. this will keep you entertained for awhile.


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 1:13 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
Body massage!

Way ahead of you on this one!


From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 1:14 PM
To: Bossman
Subject: RE: PSA's
huh?


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 1:15 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
I found these a long time ago…

The body massage one is an absolute classic, my fav. I guess there were even t-shirts made…


From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 2:39 PM
To: Bossman
Subject: RE: PSA's
whatcha doin' for Juneteenth?


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 2:46 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
I have no plans! Was trying to play tennis because today is perfect.

Hang?

Edit?

[____]?



From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 2:48 PM
To: Bossman
Subject: RE: PSA's
tonight i am recovering from the debacle that was my date last night.

why god? why!?

i think i am cursed. i never want to date again.


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:02 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
Details…


From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:24 PM
To: Bossman
Subject: RE: PSA's
ok, so here's how it went;

we have dinner, catch a buzz.
chump level: 2
things are ok

ride bikes to next destination, the second bottle of wine is corked...against my wishes (i only wanted a glass)
he tries to make out with me in public, i shame him.
he tries AGAIN! GD-it!
chump level: 8
come on!!!

there is about an hour of him going on and on about how amazing i am.
i say that i have to go.
he INSISTS on following me the entire 5 blocks home.
once at my door, begs to sleep on my floor.
continues to, despite several swift shoves and "no's", try and make out with me.
chump level: maxed out

i go upstairs wasted and shed a few tears because i realize that i really am...cursed.


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:26 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
We’re putting his picture back in the blog as a chump alert…


From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:29 PM
To: Bossman
Subject: RE: PSA's
i don't know. _____ kept reminding me that these guys aren't all chumps...they're just "not right" for me. which i guess is true. because had say, _____ or some hottie been doing all of this, i'd be all about it. but fact of the matter is that i'm not...all about it.

and the chump element is only tacked on when i've said NO and given a dissertation about how i don't really want to seriously date him.


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:31 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
I was going to see if _____ wanted to meet up tonight, I should really talk to her about a few things. If you’d like to get together instead, I’d be all for it. ______ can wait…


From: Bossette
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:44 PM
To: Bossman
Subject: RE: PSA's

actually, i had plans with _______ tonight but if you need to talk to her...no biggie, i'm exhausted. this is basically the only day i have to myself all week anyway.

i am def staying home tonight. i feel pretty rattled from last night. i should smudge my apartment with sage and do some chanting to ward off future chumps.

hey, i have a job for you!!!! here's how it works:

i go on a date. it goes bad. the guy...is a chump.
i send you a text that reads: the DECREE
you show up looking something like this

and then you sound the trumpet,
say "here ye, here ye!"
unroll the scroll and commence to read the official "chump decree"
this decree will be prewritten and explain the ways in which i have been offended and generally unimpressed
it will also highlight the ways in which i am boss
and in essence, tell them to get bent.

sound cool?


From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:45 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's

She’s all yours!

That is a capital idea…


From: Bossette

Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:47 PM

To: Bossman

Subject: RE: PSA's

I know. I need my own personal "chump crier".



From: Bossman
Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:48 PM
To: Bossette
Subject: RE: PSA's
I need a bell!


From: Bossette

Sent: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 3:54 PM

To: Bossman

Subject: RE: PSA's

and this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tricorne

i'll get cracking on the decree.